The loosened Jeans

Hi readers, 

It's been a long while as good as 3 years since I last posted, but amidst all the things happening I didn't stop trying out new and different things, I just to give you a little update about my life, Successfully completed my under-graduation college (waiting for results) and working towards impacting/transforming 1 Million lives of the Youth. Finally on gaining more clarity in life, have started working on my passion.

What I'm about to share with all of you today is not merely a post or story but is an emotion that I felt almost brought me to happy tears, I might end up looking stupid to a few, but what matters to me is how I feel about it. Obviously what I am about to share is quite clearly given away by the title but anyway let's get into it.

Since the fifth grade whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I spot the same old fatty little girl in front of me, there's no doubt that I didn't love her I absolutely did, do and will love her forever. But this is not about how much I love her, it's about looking at yourself and recollecting all your failures/shortcomings. I was roaming around with a broken confidence, no motivation and fear that again someone will come to make fun of my appearance and walk away. This would break and shatter me, I would stumble, bottle up all the emotions for several weeks and as a defence mechanism always go back to my comfort and eat lots of food with an emotional outbreak, it felt like I'm in an endless loop. 

I was tired of feeling the way I was feeling for myself so this had to stop. During the 12th grade, I started working out took the help of a dietician and lost a decent number of kilos, worked hard and just after I completed 12th the corona outbreak happened from slim and fit I went back to square one and was completely devastated enough to even care this time with lost hope and no energy, I gave up and accepted the fact that this is how it's going to be. Again God had different plans to open my eyes and give me a reality check, (that itself is a story for some other time.)

It started out as a new year's resolution, was determined that 2023 is going to be my year, no running away, no turning back and the challenge was to transform not just physically but mentally. After nearly 4 months of working out, following a strict diet and challenging my capabilities, following a routine I have lost around 10kgs. 

So coming back to the story last August/September I purchased my first ever torn/ ripped jeans from a local store in Bandra, I tried them on at home and it was slightly tight in my belly area, October-end post-Diwali, put those jeans on and zip it was a mighty task and it felt suffocating (actually I did gain some weight in the Diwali). A few days back one of my close relatives had a restaurant opening and it was like a tasting menu party, while I was getting ready, my diet was yet going on so my mind was prepared that  I am not going to eat anything unhealthy. I was determined to continue with my challenge. Since I had lost a good amount of weight, I was pretty much excited about what I'm going to wear since I had few options in mind.

I saw these jeans in my wardrobe and I told myself why not just try this on and I did, oh boy it slid in, it was no longer difficult to zip it, in fact, it was loose and felt so comfortable rather than feeling tight or suffocating. It was a huge deal for me, it was feeling like I never felt before something unnatural/unknown. That day I danced my heart out with pure joy and happiness it felt like all those days all those efforts, workouts, diet and everything I went through were absolutely worth it. Every single second was worth it and it has just motivated me to go in even stronger towards achieving my goals. 

It's not just about THE LOOSENED JEANS but rather about how it made me feel. A different level of confidence in owning it, the confidence of loving who I am, the confidence in my body, in my shape and the confidence of not caring about what others think about me. So if you ask me if will I do this again?  My answer is yes I'll put myself through this I will test myself, and my patience and I put my body again through that pain just so that when I'm out there I feel like an entirely different person. This small story is really close to my heart, that picture is yet very very fresh in my mind and I can recollect, my mother and my brother were there in the room while I was down dancing out of pure joy and they told me I've gone crazy yes I've gone crazy towards my goals, my dreams, my aspirations and towards achieving 10X. From here there is no going back. 

Gratitude, thank you to all of you for reading. Let me know in the comments section below what you feel about this blog☮️

#thebuddinggirl❤️